It’s been 25 years since we lost you. I happened to be driving by the cemetery and stopped to visit your grave last month. I remembered how to get there so vividly. The memories hit me so hard it left me a little breathless. The emotion was so deep. It took me back to one of the most spiritually difficult times in life, but also where God was moving in such a powerful way.

My life is where it is now because of things that God showed me during youth. The enemy was not happy about what was happening in our lives. When we lost first Gabe, then you, then Brandon, it changed us. It was the first time I truly understood what “sacrifice of praise” really meant. After that, we held each other tighter, said goodbyes much longer, scared we wouldn’t see each other again. But God grew us in ways we could never imagine. I just wish we could’ve had more time together.

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. You would’ve turned 40 last month. I had so many “what if” thoughts. I wondered where you might be now if you were still here. Where would you be? Would you be married? Have kids? Where would you work? Would be have celebrated your birthday together? Would you have kids?

I just miss you.

I’m glad to have made the memories I had with you. You loved God with an abandon not many people did. I know I will see you again. But until then, I will continue to live for Him. I promised.

W.e W.ill J.ennifer D.avis